The Value of Advice: Understanding Context and Experience

The question of whether we truly want advice in life, particularly in financial matters, is one that sparked deep reflection during a recent flight to Miami. A friend had reached out seeking guidance on how to improve her relationship with her boss, which had become strained, leaving her feeling isolated and stuck. While she loved her job and valued the impact she was making, her connection with her boss was lacking. As I began crafting a response, I realized just how little I knew about the full picture—how she presented herself at work, the expectations set or missed, or her boss’s perspective on their dynamic.

This realization led me to ponder the worth of advice when context is limited. Advice, by its very nature, is often incomplete because we can never fully understand someone else’s situation. While I had plenty of ideas on how to improve her work situation, I knew my recommendations would evolve—or should evolve—if I had more information. This sent me down a path of introspection about advice in general.

The Nature of Advice: Incomplete yet Valuable

Some might argue that incomplete advice is less valuable, but the truth is, all advice comes with some degree of incompleteness. Regardless of how much information we gather, there will always be unknowns. Yet, this doesn’t diminish the value of advice. It simply means that advice should be seen as a guide rather than a definitive roadmap.

In my professional life as a financial planner, I see this play out daily. A good financial plan requires an understanding of the client’s goals and aspirations, but it also demands flexibility. Goals change, circumstances evolve, and no plan can account for every possible scenario. Similarly, advice should never be absolute; it should be adaptable.

The best financial advisors excel because they bring a wealth of experience to the table. They’ve worked with numerous clients facing similar challenges and can offer insights that are not just theoretical but rooted in real-world outcomes. For example, while a financial advisor may not have personally experienced retirement, they’ve helped many clients navigate it and can share those learnings.

Reflections on the Best and Worst Advice

As I continued to reflect, I thought about the best and worst advice I’ve received over the years. Interestingly, the most valuable advice fell into two categories: financial and family-related. Some insights came from individuals who had achieved financial success, while others came from those who had faced significant financial struggles. Similarly, in family matters, wise advice came from both exemplary parents and those who had endured great loss. This reinforced a familiar truth—you can learn as much from failures as from successes.

However, the real revelation came when I examined the advice I hadn’t wanted or followed. Parenting advice was a prime example. When I first learned I was going to be a parent, I was inundated with tips on diapers, feeding, and sleep routines. At the time, it felt overwhelming and irrelevant. But once my daughter was born, those same pieces of advice resurfaced in my mind at just the right moments.

This showed me that timing is crucial. Advice that feels irrelevant in one moment can become invaluable later. Parenting, in particular, is something you must experience firsthand for most advice to truly resonate. This realization led me to a deeper understanding: advice isn’t about following instructions; it’s about understanding experiences.

Understanding the True Essence of Advice

When seeking advice, there are two approaches you can take: seeking directives or seeking experiences. The first is about what you should do—the step-by-step instructions. The second is about how someone else handled a situation and what they learned. The latter is where true wisdom lies.

Instead of blindly following advice, a leadership mindset involves understanding the experiences that shaped the advice. This means considering the challenges, mistakes, and successes of others and applying those lessons to your own unique situation. Blindly following advice reflects a follower’s mindset, whereas learning from others’ experiences embodies a leader’s approach.

This is why we value insights from figures like Michael Jordan or seasoned business leaders. Their advice isn’t just about what to do; it’s about what they’ve learned through years of experience.

Applying This Insight to Real-Life Scenarios

Returning to my friend’s situation, she wasn’t truly asking me for directives on what to do. Instead, she needed to hear about my experiences so she could extract valuable lessons and apply them to her own circumstances.
Real leaders don’t need to follow advice. Instead, they seek to learn from the experiences of others to shape their own decisions.

Final Thoughts: The Art of Seeking Advice

Next time you seek advice, remember that you’re not looking for someone to tell you what to do. Instead, you’re seeking to learn from another’s experiences to forge your own path forward. As you design your life and finances, look for those who can share their experiences to help guide you toward your aspirations and goals.

In conclusion, advice is not about instructions; it’s about understanding the experiences that led to those instructions. By embracing this mindset, you can turn advice into a powerful tool for navigating life’s challenges and achieving success.