‘You have to accept her life is not her own’: Ruth Davidson and partner Jen reflect on life in politics

The Unique Challenges of Being a Politician’s Partner

Being in a relationship with a politician comes with its own set of challenges, as Jen Wilson, the partner of Baroness Ruth Davidson, revealed on Beth Rigby’s Electoral Dysfunction podcast. Jen opened up about how her life became "quite intense" when Ruth led the Scottish Conservatives from 2011 to 2019. The couple’s experience highlights the sacrifices and adjustments that come with loving someone in public office. For Jen, life changed dramatically as Ruth’s career demanded constant attention, leaving little room for a traditional 9-to-5 routine. "It definitely took lots of adjusting to when we first got together," Jen admitted. The intensity of Ruth’s role meant she was "on call pretty much 24/7," a reality that required significant adaptation for both partners.

The Demands of a Politician’s Lifestyle

The demands of a politician’s job are not confined to office hours. Ruth recalled how her role as Scottish Tory leader made her work "very full on" from the start. Evenings, weekends, and family time were often interrupted by the obligations of public service. This reality can be particularly challenging for partners who must navigate a life where their loved one’s time is no longer their own. Ruth explained, "If you have a family, you’ll have had a rhythm to that, and that will have been completely interrupted." For partners of politicians, the adjustment involves accepting that their partner’s life is no longer solely their own but is instead dedicated to serving the public.

Balancing Private Life and Public Duty

One of the most difficult aspects of being a politician’s partner is maintaining a sense of normalcy in personal relationships. Jen shared that navigating social interactions can be tricky, as people often approach Ruth to discuss political issues, even in private moments. She recalled instances where strangers would interrupt the couple during quiet dinners to talk about constituency issues or policy matters. "People come over to try and have big debates with them when you’re out and about," Jen said. To manage these situations, the couple developed strategies, such as politely steering conversations away from politics or asking people to contact Ruth’s office instead. Over time, they learned to set boundaries to protect their personal time.

Navigating Public Scrutiny and Social Pressures

The role of a politician’s partner often comes with unintended scrutiny. Baroness Harriet Harman, a veteran Labour MP, offered advice for partners of politicians, emphasizing the importance of supporting their spouse’s career while maintaining their own identity. She suggested shifting the focus from protecting one’s social life to embracing the opportunity to support a partner who is making a difference. Harriet’s advice underscored the need for resilience and understanding in such relationships. Partners must not only adapt to the demands of their spouse’s job but also find ways to thrive in the face of constant public attention.

The Unseen Toll on Relationships

Ruth and Jen’s experiences shed light on the unseen toll that political life can take on personal relationships. The couple’s journey required constant communication and mutual support to navigate the challenges of Ruth’s career. Jen’s honesty about the intensity of their life together serves as a reminder that relationships involving politicians demand patience, compromise, and a deep understanding of the sacrifices involved. For those considering a similar path, the key is to find a balance that honors both the demands of public service and the needs of personal relationships.

Lessons for Partners of Politicians

For anyone in a relationship with a politician, the advice is clear: embrace flexibility, set boundaries, and prioritize open communication. Ruth and Jen’s story offers a candid look at the realities of life alongside a public figure. While the journey is not without its challenges, it also highlights the rewarding aspects of supporting someone who is dedicated to making a difference. As Jen and Ruth’s experience shows, love and partnership in the political sphere require a unique blend of resilience, humor, and understanding.