Exclusive | ‘October 7th made me realize being trans is a luxury belief — so I’m detransitioning’

The Journey Begins: Maia’s Early Struggles with Gender Identity

Maia, a 25-year-old American living in Israel, found herself at a crossroads on October 7, 2023, when Hamas launched a brutal attack, forcing her to flee for her life. In that moment, she realized that the gender ideology she had clung to for years was a luxury she could no longer afford. "I became significantly less concerned about all of this gender crap," she shared in an interview. The urgency of survival made her understand that there were more pressing matters than her gender dysphoria.

Maia’s journey with gender identity began during her preteen years when she noticed her attraction to female classmates. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, she felt a lack of role models, as lesbian culture seemed to disappear amidst the rise of gender ideology. "All the lesbians I knew were transitioning," she remarked. This absence of representation led her to question her own identity, and by age 12, she came out as transgender.

Her parents, described as "very intellectual Soviet Jewish types," were skeptical of her decision, rooted in their Soviet upbringing and distrust of institutional dogma. Despite their reservations, Maia turned to the internet for guidance, consuming countless documentaries and online content about transgender experiences. Algorithms fed her more trans-related material, and she became deeply invested in the idea of transitioning.

The Cultural Context: Losing Lesbian Identity in the Digital Age

Maia’s transition was not just a personal journey but also a reflection of the cultural shifts around gender and sexuality. She pointed out that lesbian culture had been eroded by the rise of gender ideology, leaving young women like her without a clear sense of identity. "There was no lesbian culture by the time I was coming of age," she said. "I didn’t have any good role models. All the lesbians I knew were transitioning."

This cultural vacuum led Maia to internalize the idea that her attraction to women meant she must be a man. She began binding her chest with Ace bandages and multiple sports bras, despite the physical discomfort and long-term damage it caused. By the time she went to college to study political science, she had socially transitioned, changing her name and pronouns. Her parents eventually discovered her transition during her sophomore year and offered her an ultimatum: study abroad in a non-Western country or lose their financial support for tuition.

Maia chose Israel, drawn by her Jewish heritage and the opportunity to study through her school. Her time in Israel was marked by conflict, as she witnessed the 2021 clashes between Israel and Palestine. While hiding in bomb shelters, she was shocked to see her peers back home supporting Hamas. "My heart was just racing because you never know when the next bomb siren is going to come," she recalled.

The Israeli Sojourn: Politics and Identity in a War Zone

Living in Israel exposed Maia to stark realities that began to challenge her progressive worldview. During the 2021 conflict, she found herself at odds with friends back in the U.S. who supported Hamas. "I was trying to convince my friends to stop supporting Hamas — people who were DMing me from boba shops in California as I was running from rockets," she said. These experiences left her questioning the political left and its narratives about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The conflict also forced her to reevaluate her identity. While her peers back home were consumed by gender ideology, Maia found herself confronting life-and-death situations that made herprioritize survival over self-expression. She began to see the luxury inherent in some progressive ideologies, particularly those related to gender. "War-torn countries have limited healthcare resources to turn people who are sick into people who are healthy," she noted, contrasting this with the abundance of resources in the U.S. for gender-affirming care.

The Breaking Point: October 7 and the Aftermath

The turning point came on October 7, 2023, when Maia narrowly escaped the Hamas attack. She and her friends had considered attending the Nova Festival, where over 300 concertgoers were massacred, but they couldn’t find a ride or afford the tickets. Instead, she awoke to bomb sirens and the sound of missiles being intercepted by the Iron Dome.

In the chaos, Maia fled to a bomb shelter without her chest binder, forced to confront her body in a way she hadn’t in years. "I had to feel my body move naturally, unconstrained by the binder," she said. The experience was deeply unsettling, but it also brought clarity. She realized that her body was not a pathology but a vital part of her survival.

At the shelter, she witnessed the execution of young people her age on social media, including a friend she had known. These horrors made her question the trans ideology she had once embraced. "It was taking so much brain space to play all of these trans mind games," she said. The attack left her in mourning and grappling with the psychological aftermath of her own detransition.

The Fallout: Detransition and the Road to Recovery

Maia returned to the U.S. in "tatters," both grieving the loss of friends and reckoning with the ideology she had once accepted as truth. She now identifies as a lesbian woman and lives with her parents, working as a freelance writer and SubStacker under the pseudonym Maia Poet.

Her detransition was not without challenges. The physical damage caused by years of binding her breasts remains, as does the emotional toll of admitting she had been living a lie. "One part of what delayed my detransition was the absolute unwillingness to admit that my parents were right," she confessed. Despite her anger toward them for years, she now feels gratitude for their skepticism.

Maia’s story highlights the broader implications of gender ideology, particularly its impact on young people. She warns that banning medical transition for minors may not fully address the harm caused by the ideology, as young people may resort to unsafe binding or tucking, causing permanent damage. "The harm of this ideology starts way before a doctor or before a gender clinic gets involved," she said. "It starts when a young person adopts this belief about themselves, that they were born in the wrong body."

The Final Reflection: A Luxury Belief in a Fragile World

Maia’s journey ultimately led her to a profound realization: that gender ideology is a luxury affordable only in times of peace and prosperity. In a war zone, such ideas become irrelevant, and the body’s survival instincts take over. She likened trans ideology to a "luxury belief," a term popularized by writer Rob Henderson, describing ideas that only thrive in environments shielded from reality.

Reflecting on her experience, Maia underscores the importance of distinguishing between survival and self-expression. She hopes her story will serve as a warning about the dangers of turning healthy bodies into lifelong medical patients through gender-affirming care. "You can’t be reliant on Big Pharma for your hormones for the rest of your life if you end up in a war zone," she said.

Maia’s detransition is not just a personal victory but also a call to reevaluate the broader cultural narrative around gender identity. Her story challenges readers to consider the long-term consequences of embracing ideologies that prioritize self-expression over physical and emotional well-being.